Lord Acton

I often hear & read about politicians and business leaders being labelled as “having power” and I often ask myself, how much power do they really “have” and how much is “given” to them?

We all “get stuff done” through the use of power, some of us use “personal power” (often called influence), some of us use “position power” (often called authority) and some of us use both (often called leading).

There are no “one” definitions of Personal power and Position Power; these are the definitions I have chosen for this article:

“Personal power is the ability to influence events and people through your own skills, knowledge, and personal attributes, rather than through formal authority or position.”

“Position power is derived from an individual’s formal role or position within an organisation. It is tied to the authority that comes with a title, rank, or job function.”

Both personal and position power have their “bright side” and “dark side”; one is not better or worse than the other – it is a question of how you use it!

The bright side of personal power is often portrayed as the self-effacing hero, encouraging those around them to stand up and fight, often against overwhelming odds, for what is “good & right” for everyone.

The dark side of personal power is often portrayed as a kind of charismatic guru, only interested in getting what is best for oneself.

The bright side of position power is often portrayed as the loyal administrator, applying strictly the rules and regulations to everyone, even to their own detriment.

The dark side of position power is often portrayed as the conniving and controlling “rule bender”; applying the rules & regulations to further their own ends and feather their own nest.

By looking at how much personal and position power people use (and how they use it), we can identify eight approaches (I hesitate to use the word “types”).

Followers & Wanderers are low on both personal and position power; however, Followers will actively and positively, participate in contributing to something, whereas Wanderers tend to flit aimlessly from activity to activity, rarely committing to anything.

Administrators & Controllers are high on position power and low on personal power; Administrators tend to “apply the rules” in all circumstances regardless of the position or social standing of others. Controllers on the other hand tend to be a little more selective to what is applied, to who & when, often benefiting themselves and their close circle.

Influencers & Manipulators both have high personal power; Influencers tend to use their power to have an impact on some kind of “greater good”. They will take time to listen to conflicting arguments and incorporate the ideas of others in their own thinking. Manipulators use their power for their “own good”. They use lies, exaggerations, and the like to dismiss and belittle the ideas of others – they will often do this with objective of acquiring position power.

Altruists & Dictators both have high personal power and high position power; Altruists will use their positional power to benefit everyone, especially, although not solely, those seen as oppressed. Dictators will tend to find “loopholes” in the rules (manifests, constitutions, laws, etc.) or even “change the rules” to further their own ends and maintain the power that is associated with the position.

Influences, Manipulators, Controllers, Altruists, Dictators and the others can be seen in all walks of life; it is often more visible in the world of politics when we see presidents, prime-ministers and the like not respecting constitutional laws in, “the countries bets interests”, or “the people’s best interest”. However, it can also be seen in business, in teams, in clubs, in schools ….

How are you using your power?

“Power doesn’t corrupt people, people corrupt power”

William Gaddis

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

boblarcher.com

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Like the unseen portion of an iceberg, Mental Toughness lies beneath the surface. It is rooted in our values, beliefs, experiences, and instincts. While invisible, its effects are highly visible in how we act, speak, and respond to challenges.

Psychologists define Mental Toughness as an attitude shaped by our beliefs and life experiences. For instance, if someone grows up being told they are bad at something, they may internalise that belief. However, such attitudes are not fixed—they can change over time through new experiences and achievements.

Mental Toughness is the attitude that gives us the confidence to take on a challenge and the control to see our commitments through.

Mental Toughness is not related to physical strength and it has nothing to do with biceps, triceps, testosterone and the like and it applies in all walks of life; great musicians, great dancers, great scientists, great public speakers, great athletes and, in fact, anyone good at what they do, has high Mental Toughness.

Mental Toughness is built on four pillars, each with two foundations.

The four pillars are often referred to as the 4C’s; Challenge, Commitment, Control and Confidence; however, it is the foundations that give each pillar its strength and stability.

The foundations of Challenge, sometimes called the “Have a go” attitude, are a willingness to step out of one’s comfort zone, or zones, and take on something challenging & the willingness to take time to learn from the experience, both from success and failure.

Commitment, or “Stickability”, is built on defining clear objectives with regards to the challenge undertaken & staying focussed and determined to achieve them.

Challenge and Commitment are “outward” focussed and it is here that lies one of the differences between Resilience and Mental Toughness.

Both Resilience and Mental Toughness are about being able to cope mentally and emotionally with a crisis; Resilience is more a reaction to a challenge when it arises, whereas Mental Toughness is more proactive and is about seeking out a challenge.

The “Can do” or Control pillar sits upon the control we have of our lives and our self-control in difficult (challenging) situations. Life Control is about the degree to which we make our major life decisions based on our own values, objectives, dreams, hope and desires whereas our self-control, or Emotional Control, is about our ability to channel the emotional energy created into something positive.

The Confidence pillar, our Self-belief pillar, has its roots in Interpersonal Confidence; our ability to remain assertive and be able to interact with a wide range of different people, be they more qualified, better paid, more experienced, etc.

The second foundation of the Confidence pillar is Confidence in our capacities, not just “knowing our stuff” but knowing that we know our stuff; knowing what we are good at and being confident in what we are dealing with.

To summarise

Mentally tough people are resilient whereas resilient people are not necessarily mentally tough.

Challenge is about being optimistic & curious; it is not about being reckless & closed.

Commitment is about being focussed & determined; it is not about being blinkered & stubborn.

Control is about being decisive & calm; it is not about being dogmatic & cold.

Confidence is about being assertive & grounded; it is not about being aggressive & arrogant.

Mental Toughness, until quite recently, has been quite an intangible concept and difficult to measure. Today, we know what it is and we have reliable methods for determining levels of Mental Toughness and yes, we all have a certain amount of Mental Toughness, some people may have more, and some people may have less but we all have a degree of Mental Toughness, we all have varying levels of “Can do”, “Stickability”, “Have a go” and “Self-belief”.

Studies have shown that Mental Toughness follows a normal distribution curve, some people have very low amounts, some people have very high amounts, and most people have an “average” amount of Mental Toughness. In fact, most of us have the level of Mental Toughness that we need to get through most of of our daily storms.

The starting point to developing Mental Toughness is in exploring the foundations and identifying potential “cracks”.

A good example of someone with (or who had) a crack in one of the foundations is Novak Djokovic. After several emotional outbursts during important matches, he admitted that he was letting his own, negative, emotions get in the way of his performance, and he began working on techniques & methods that allowed him to be aware of his emotions and manage them better during matches.

There are two ways of exploring the solidity of our foundations, the first is simply by asking oneself some questions and answering them honestly; Am I really in charge of my life? Do I challenge myself regularly? Do I stay calm in difficult situation, etc.

The second, and more reliable way, is to use a recognised & validated psychometric questionnaire such as the MTQPlus; a questionnaire that not only explores the foundations but also provides concrete developmental suggestion aligned to your results.

Once you know where your strengths and weaknesses lie, you can start building on your strengths and overcoming your weaknesses.

Mental Toughness can clearly be developed, but it doesn’t happen “overnight”; it is often an aggregation of small changes that must be maintained, consciously, until they become second nature.

Attitudinal change comes from experience, experiencing success where there was once only failure; this leads to a mind shift from “can’t do” to “can do”.

To quote Heny Ford, “Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right”

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

boblarcher.com

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Like you, I’m an earthling; our planet belongs to us.

I’m British, I was born in London in 1954. I didn’t have choice about being British, nor even in being born; both were thrust upon me, no one asked me if, when and where I wanted to be born – so much for choice, eh!

My influences as a young boy in the early to mid-sixties were comics such as “The Victor”, “The Hotspur” and “The Hornet”. All of them were full of (mainly British) heroic battles and daring deeds, Wellington at Waterloo, Raglan at Balaclava, Melvill et Coghill at Isandhlwana, Chard & Broomhead at Rorke’s Drift, Gordon at Khartoum, Douglas Bader during the Battle for Britain, etc. etc.

The underlying message (which I clearly didn’t see as a young boy) was about how great we were (or at that time “are”); the comics didn’t write about the thousands of Zulus who died protecting their homelands, or about the massacre of Amritsar, or about the atrocities of the Boxer rebellion, etc. They only wrote about the greatness of the British Empire.

You may be asking yourself if I am proud or ashamed to be British; to be honest I am neither, I just am British – as I wrote earlier, it just happened to me, I was born on a part of the planet that we call Britain. Britain and the British people have done some truly great things and some truly atrocious things – in the past.

I could probably have the written the above from a French perspective (d’Artagnan, Napoleon, Jaures, de Gaulle, …) or an American perspective (Lincoln, Custer, Murphy, Armstrong, …) and I am fairly sure that there are few French people or American people who “chose” to be born French or American.

I’ve had the opportunity to travel a bit (Europe, India, South Africa, Thailand ….) and everywhere I’ve been, I’ve found people more or less like me – people with brothers & sisters, people with parents, people with children, people who want to live in peace, people who want to enjoy life, people who want to contribute to their communities ……….

The air that I breathed in those countries had already been inhaled & exhaled by hundreds of Indians, Zimbabweans, etc.  and the water that I drank had already passed through numerous digestive systems.

We’ve divided the planet into “parts” that we call countries but nature doesn’t give a damn about borders; radioactive or toxic clouds don’t respect the Schengen Area; water tables communicate between themselves, diseased birds violate national airspace and the pollution in the Pacific Ocean eventually finds its way into the Mediterranean.

We’ve divided the planet into parts but the resources are common, the Amazonian forest is in a part of the planet that we call Brazil, just like coal or petrol is in other parts of the planet that go under other names.

When a forest is destroyed, it’s my forest that is destroyed, it’s your forest that is destroyed and it’s our forest that is destroyed. When a river is polluted, it’s my river that is polluted, it’s your river that is polluted and it’s our river that is polluted. Although I’m far from sure that anyone has asked my opinion, your opinion or our opinion.

I’ve yet to read in a religious document or a constitution (or any other document) that we should imprison (or even kill) those who don’t agree with us; in fact, quite the opposite most talk about compassion & comprehension.

For the majority of us we have about 80 years to realise our potential, develop it and then deploy it in order to accomplish our lives and, maybe, help others to accomplish their lives.

The planet has been divided into about 190 parts and the “others” living in those parts are no worse than us and no better than us, in the main they are just like us; they have the same aspirations, the same hopes and the same dreams.

We can’t continue treating problems in isolation; deforestation in Indonesia, air pollution in China, fracking in North America, oil pipeline spillages in Russia, war in Ukrain, etc. If we don’t start treating our planet like a “collective whole” the “mouldy” parts will start connecting up and it will be (far) too late to save anything.

Although “think globally and act locally” has been in vogue for some time now, there seems to be a move towards “think & act locally” and “sod the rest of the world”; as if what someone does in their part of the planet has no impact on the rest of the planet.

To finish with, a couple of quotes by Anne Frank and Albert Einstein:

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

boblarcher.com

The post I am an earthling appeared first on BobLarcher.

Our eyes are information collectors; each eye has millions of photoreceptors that capture information from our external world and transmit it to the visual cortex in the back of brain via the optic nerve.

It is in the visual cortex that light waves become meaning; it is in the brain that the story is told.

Not everything “out there” makes it to the visual cortex; physical, physiological and psychological “filters” reduce the amount of information transmitted to the brain.

As we do not all have the same physical, physiological and psychological filters we will each have a certain percentage of the total information available that reaches our brain.

The information that does get through is then interpreted; instinctively, intuitively and intellectually to give us our interpretation of that information. Again, we do not all have the same instinctive, intuitive and intellectual “make up” and we will each interpret what we have seen differently.

The same can be said for our ears; “I heard it with own ears”.

Sound waves enter the outer ear; they create vibrations in the inner ear which are converted into electrical signals and transmitted via the auditory nerve to the auditory cortex.

And yes, the same process of filtering and interpreting takes place before we come to a conclusion about “what we heard”.

Our other “information collectors”, our nose, our mouth and our skin all function in similar ways.

This helps to explain why people looking at the same “event” can come to significantly different conclusions. We do not all “receive” exactly the same information, and we do not all “interpret” it in exactly the same way.

We do not all have the same physical, physiological and psychological filters; some people wear glasses or hearing aids, some people have a less well-developed sense of smell or taste which contribute to physiological barriers. Some people in the same situation may have a different physical barrier, someone’s view blocked for example, and we all psychologically sharpen or level different information.

When it comes to interpreting the information, some people, “trust their instincts”, some people “go with their intuitions” and some people “analyse the facts”.

We are all working with different amounts of information and we are interpreting what we have received in different ways.

That is why I often say, “even when you are convinced you are right about something, you may be wrong”.

Any thoughts?

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

boblarcher.com

The post Don’t always believe what you see and hear appeared first on BobLarcher.

Quand on dit qu’une personne a fait preuve d’une grande Force Mentale pour surmonter un défi, ce n’est pas la Force Mentale qui a été démontrée, mais le résultat de cette Force Mentale.

La Force Mentale se cache dans les 80 % de l’iceberg de la personnalité qui se trouvent sous la ligne de flottaison ; elle est là, avec nos valeurs, nos croyances, nos expériences, nos pulsions et bien d’autres choses encore.

La Force Mentale est invisible, mais son impact est bien visible !

Son impact se manifeste dans les 20 % émergents de la personnalité : dans nos paroles et nos actes, dans ce que nous disons et faisons.

La Force Mentale est considérée par les psychologues comme une attitude, créée par la combinaison de nos croyances et de nos expériences.

Si vos professeurs, vos amis et votre famille vous disent, par exemple, que vous êtes nul en maths, il y a de fortes chances que vous finissiez par croire que vous l’êtes effectivement.

Cependant, cette croyance et cette attitude peuvent évoluer, comme l’ont démontré Albert Einstein et John Gurdon ; le premier a été décrit par un professeur comme quelqu’un qui “n’arriverait jamais à rien dans la vie” et le second s’est vu dire par un professeur que son travail était “loin d’être satisfaisant” et que ses rêves de devenir scientifique étaient “assez ridicules” ; tous deux ont par la suite reçu un prix Nobel scientifique.

La Force Mentale est l’attitude qui nous donne la confiance nécessaire pour relever un défi et le contrôle nécessaire pour tenir nos engagements.

La Force Mentale n’a rien à voir avec les biceps, les triceps, la testostérone et autres, et s’applique à tous les domaines de la vie. Les grands musiciens, les grands danseurs, les grands scientifiques, les grands orateurs, les grands athlètes et, en fait, tous ceux qui ont persévéré jusqu’à devenir très performants dans leur domaine, possèdent une grande Force Mentale.

La Force Mentale repose sur quatre piliers, chacun reposant sur deux fondations.

Ces quatre piliers sont : Défi, Engagement, Maîtrise et Confiance ; cependant, ce sont ces fondations qui confèrent à chaque pilier sa force et sa stabilité.

Les fondements du Défi, sont la volonté de sortir de sa ou ses zones de confort et de relever un défi, ainsi que la volonté de prendre le temps d’apprendre de l’expérience, tant de ses succès que de ses échecs.

L’Engagement repose sur la définition d’objectifs clairs concernant le défi entrepris et sur la concentration et la détermination à les atteindre.

Le Défi et l’Engagement sont tournés vers l’extérieur et c’est là que réside l’une des différences entre Résilience et Force Mentale.

La Résilience et la Force Mentale concernent toutes deux la capacité à gérer mentalement et émotionnellement une crise. La Résilience est davantage une réaction face à un défi lorsqu’il se présente, tandis que la Force Mentale est plus proactive et consiste à rechercher le défi.

Le pilier Maitrise repose sur le contrôle que nous avons sur notre vie et notre maîtrise de soi dans les situations difficiles. Le Contrôle de Vie concerne la mesure dans laquelle nous prenons nos décisions importantes en fonction de nos propres valeurs, objectifs, rêves, espoirs et désirs, tandis que la maîtrise de soi, ou Contrôle Émotionnel, concerne notre capacité à canaliser l’énergie émotionnelle générée par les défis vers quelque chose de positif.

Le pilier Confiance trouve ses racines dans la Confiance Interpersonnelle. Notre capacité à rester assertif et à interagir avec un large éventail de personnes, qu’elles soient plus qualifiées, mieux rémunérées, plus expérimentées, etc.

Le deuxième pilier de la Confiance est la Confiance en nos capacités, pas seulement la “connaissance de notre sujet”, mais la certitude de le connaître ; savoir dans quoi nous excellons et avoir confiance en nos capacités.

En résumé

Les personnes mentalement fortes sont résilientes, tandis que les personnes résilientes ne le sont pas nécessairement.

Le défi, c’est être optimiste et curieux ; ce n’est pas être téméraire et fermé.

L’engagement, c’est être concentré et déterminé ; ce n’est pas être borné et têtu.

Le contrôle, c’est être décisif et calme ; ce n’est pas être dogmatique et froid.

La confiance, c’est être assertif et ancré dans ses valeurs ; ce n’est pas être agressif et arrogant.

La Force Mentale, jusqu’à récemment, était un concept assez intangible et difficile à mesurer.

Aujourd’hui, nous savons ce que c’est et disposons de méthodes fiables pour déterminer les niveaux de Force Mentale. Certes, nous possédons tous une certaine Force Mentale, certains plus, d’autres moins, mais nous possédons tous un certain degré de Force Mentale, chacun avec des niveaux variables.

Des études ont montré que la Force Mentale suit une courbe de distribution normale : certaines personnes en ont une très faible, d’autres une très élevée, et la plupart ont une Force Mentale moyenne. En réalité, la plupart d’entre nous possèdent le niveau de Force Mentale nécessaire pour affronter la plupart des épreuves du quotidien.

Pour développer sa Force Mentale, il faut commencer par explorer ses fondements et identifier son ou ses maillons faibles.

Novak Djokovic est un bon exemple de quelqu’un ayant (ou ayant eu) un maillon faible. Djokovic possède clairement une Force Mentale élevée ; sans elle, on ne peut prétendre au titre de GOAT de sa discipline. Cependant, après plusieurs crises émotionnelles lors de matchs importants, il a admis avoir laissé ses émotions négatives l’entraver dans sa performance et a commencé à travailler sur des techniques et des méthodes qui lui ont permis de prendre conscience de ses émotions et de mieux les gérer pendant les matchs.

Il existe deux façons d’explorer la solidité de nos fondations. La première consiste simplement à se poser quelques questions et à y répondre honnêtement : suis-je vraiment maître de ma vie ? Est-ce que je me remets régulièrement en question ? Est-ce que je reste calme dans les situations difficiles, etc.

La deuxième méthode, plus fiable, consiste à utiliser un questionnaire psychométrique reconnu et validé, tel que le MTQPlus. Ce questionnaire explore non seulement les fondations, mais fournit également des suggestions concrètes de développement, adaptées à vos résultats.

Une fois que vous avez identifié vos forces et vos faiblesses, vous pouvez commencer à les développer et à surmonter vos faiblesses.

La force mentale peut être développée, mais elle ne se fait pas du jour au lendemain ; il s’agit souvent d’une accumulation de petits changements qu’il faut maintenir consciemment jusqu’à ce qu’ils deviennent une seconde nature.

Le changement d’attitude naît de l’expérience, de la réussite là où il n’y avait auparavant que des échecs ; cela conduit à un changement d’état d’esprit : passer du “je ne peux pas faire” au “je peux faire”.

Pour citer Heny Ford : “Que vous pensiez pouvoir y arriver ou non, vous avez généralement raison.”

Si vous souhaitez explorer les fondements de votre force mentale, vous pouvez me contacter à l’adresse boblarcher@boblarcher.com ; j’accompagne les individus et les équipes à développer leur Force Mentale depuis près de 40 ans.

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

boblarcher.com

The post Comprendre la Force Mentale appeared first on BobLarcher.

When you hear someone saying that a certain person “showed great Mental Toughness to overcome a challenge”; it’s not Mental Toughness that was shown, but the result of Mental Toughness.

Mental Toughness is hidden in the 80% of the personality iceberg that is below the waterline; it’s down there with our values, our beliefs, our experiences, our impulses, our pulsion’s and whole lot of other stuff.

Mental Toughness is invisible, but its impact is highly visible!

Its impact is seen in the emerged 20% of the personality; in our words and deeds, what we say and do.

Mental Toughness is considered by psychologists to be an attitude; created through a combination of our beliefs and experiences.

If you are told, for example, by your teachers, friends and family that you are useless at maths, there is a good chance that you will come to believe that you are, indeed, useless at maths.

However, this belief and attitude can change, as was shown by both Albert Einstein and John Gurdon; the first was described by a teacher as someone who, “would never get anywhere in life” and the second was told by a teacher that his work was “far from satisfactory” and that his dreams of becoming a scientist were “quite ridiculous” – both went on to become winners of the Nobel Prize.

Mental Toughness is the attitude that gives us the confidence to take on a challenge and the control to see our commitments through.

Mental Toughness has nothing to do with biceps, triceps, testosterone and the like and it applies in all walks of life; great musicians, great dancers, great scientists, great public speakers, great athletes and, in fact, anyone who has stayed the distance to become very good at what they do, have high Mental Toughness.

Mental Toughness is built on four pillars, each with two foundations.

The four pillars are often referred to a the 4C’s; Challenge, Commitment, Control and Confidence; however, it is the foundations that give each pillar its strength and stability.

The foundations of Challenge, sometimes called the “Have a go” attitude, are a willingness to step out of one’s comfort zone, or comfort zones, and take on something challenging & the willingness to take time to learn from the experience, both from success and failure.

Commitment, or “Stickability”, is built on defining clear objectives with regards to the challenge undertaken & staying focussed and determined to achieve them.

Challenge and Commitment are “outward” focussed and it is here that lies one of the differences between Resilience and Mental Toughness.

Both Resilience and Mental Toughness are about being able to cope mentally and emotionally with a crisis; Resilience is more a reaction to a challenge when it arises, whereas Mental Toughness is more proactive and is about seeking out a challenge.

The “Can do” or Control pillar sits upon the control we have of our lives and our self-control in difficult (challenging) situations. Life Control is about the degree to which we make our major life decisions based on our own values, objectives, dreams, hopes and desires whereas our self-control, or Emotional Control, is about our ability to channel the emotional energy created, when challenged, into something positive.

The Confidence pillar, our Self-belief pillar, has its roots in Interpersonal Confidence; our ability to remain assertive and be able to interact with a wide range of different people, be they more qualified, better paid, more experienced, etc.

The second foundation of the Confidence pillar is Confidence in our capacities, not just “knowing our stuff” but knowing that we know our stuff; knowing what we are good at and being confident in what we are dealing with.

To summarise

Mentally tough people are resilient whereas resilient people are not necessarily mentally tough.

Challenge is about being optimistic & curious; it is not about being reckless & closed.

Commitment is about being focussed & determined; it is not about being blinkered & stubborn.

Control is about being decisive & calm; it is not about being dogmatic & cold.

Confidence is about being assertive & grounded; it is not about being aggressive & arrogant.

Mental Toughness, until quite recently, has been quite an intangible concept and difficult to measure. Today, we know what it is and we have reliable methods for determining levels of Mental Toughness and yes, we all have a certain amount of Mental Toughness, some people may have more, and some people may have less but we all have a degree of Mental Toughness, we all have varying levels of “Can do”, “Stickability”, “Have a go” and “Self-belief”.

Studies have shown that Mental Toughness follows a normal distribution curve, some people have very low amounts, some people have very high amounts, and most people have an “average” amount of Mental Toughness. In fact, most of us have the level of Mental Toughness that we need to get through the majority of our daily storms.

The starting point to developing Mental Toughness is in exploring the foundations and identify our weak link or links.

A good example of someone with (or who had) a weak link is Novak Djokovic. Djokovic clearly has high Mental Toughness, you don’t get to be considered a contender for  the GOAT in your discipline without it; however, after several emotional outbursts during important matches, he admitted that he was letting his own, negative, emotions get in the way of his performance and he began working on techniques & methods that allowed him to be aware of his emotions and manage them better during matches.

There are two ways of exploring the solidity of our foundations, the first is simply by asking oneself some questions and answering them honestly; Am I really in charge of my life? Do I challenge myself regularly? Do I stay calm in difficult situation, etc.

The second, and more reliable way, is to use a recognised & validated psychometric questionnaire such as the MTQPlus; a questionnaire that not only explores the foundations but also provides concrete developmental suggestion aligned to your results.

Once you know where your strengths and weaknesses lie, you can start building on your strengths and overcoming your weaknesses.

Mental Toughness can clearly be developed, but it doesn’t happen “overnight”; it is often an aggregation of small changes that must be maintained, consciously, until they become second nature.

Attitudinal change comes from experience, experiencing success where there was once only failure; this leads to a mind shift from “can’t do” to “can do”.

To quote Heny Ford, “Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right”

If you would like to explore the foundations of your Mental Toughness, you can contact me at boblarcher@boblarcher.com; I have been helping individuals and teams develop their Mental Toughness for almost 40 years now.

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

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The post Understanding Mental Toughness appeared first on BobLarcher.

As I wrote in a previous article (www.boblarcher.com/mental-toughness/mental-toughness-the-end-of-an-era/), Mental Toughness is made up from four components, or pillars – Confidence, Challenge, Commitment and Control.

Each of these pillars is built on two foundations and it is the foundations that affect how you do at work, your relationships, how you handle setbacks, even how you reach your goals.

In this article I will focus on the Commitment pillar.

Commitment is built on the foundations of Goal Orientation and Achievement Orientation.

Goal orientation is about setting clear goals, goals that give you a sense of direction as to where you want to go, it’s not just like, I want to be successful, it’s more concrete, more specific.

Those with low Goal Orientation tend to be intimidated by goals and targets and try to avoid them. They focus on what comes along often attack intangibles and feel dispersed getting lost in trivia that is neither important nor urgent.

Those with high Goal Orientation tend to enjoy setting goals and objectives, in particular objectives that stretch them. They define “specifically” what is to be achieved and plan activities with daily “to do lists” of essential things to do; they focus on “micro” deliverables that will contribute to their priorities.

Setting specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and trackable objectives is on the starting point of the commitment pillar, the determination to succeed pillar, Achievement Orientation, is about actually getting things done. Putting in the work, day after day.

Even when it’s not fun, showing up even when you don’t feel like it. The ability to persevere is a big part of Achievement Orientation, unlike the search for instant gratification that seems to be everywhere today.

Those with low Achievement Orientation tend to allow themselves to be distracted and find reasons to miss the target, they give up easily when they encounter difficulties seeing obstacles as problems. They are often poor at managing their time, tackling non-essential activities rather than concentrating on what will move things forward.

Those with high Achievement Orientation tend to see effort as a path to success and persist for long periods even in the face of setbacks seeing obstacles as opportunities. They prioritise their activities concentrating their effort and energy on things that matter.

Again, it is the contribution of both foundations to the commitment pillar.

Those low in both Goal Orientation and Achievement Orientation don’t really set objectives for themselves and are not motivated to make an effort when they have to do something.

Those low in Goal Orientation and high Achievement Orientation set few objectives but get satisfaction from doing a good job.

Those high in Goal Orientation and low in Achievement Orientation enjoy setting objectives and planning what will happen but often give up easily when trying to achieve them.

Those high in both Goal Orientation and Achievement Orientation Not only do set (often ambitious) objectives but maintain focus and determination in achieving them.

So, the commitment pillar is all about setting clear objectives and maintaining focus to achieve them.

If you are curious to know more about Mental Toughness you can take a look at more articles here www.boblarcher.com/category/mental-toughness/.

And, if you would like to measure and start developing your mental toughness, do not hesitate to contact me at boblarcher@boblarcher.com

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

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Each of these pillars is built on two foundations and it is the foundations that affect how you do at work, your relationships, how you handle setbacks, even how you reach your goals.

In this article I will focus on the Challenge pillar.

Challenge is built on Risk Orientation (willingness to take risks) and Learning Orientation (willingness to learn).

I’ll start with Risk Orientation, this is essentially about embracing challenges and seeing them as chances to grow.

It means being willing to step outside your comfort zone, trying new things and embracing the unknown. It’s not about being reckless but taking calculated risks. Risks that will help you to grow the most – when you push yourself beyond what you’re used to.

In fact, it is about stepping outside your comfort zones – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual …

Taking on a project that seems a little intimidating at first, speaking up in a meeting when you usually wouldn’t, working with people who have different values to you, discussing subjects that you do not master.

Those with low Risk Orientation tend to respond poorly to competitive people and see challenges as a potential threat. They avoid situations where they feel “uneasy” and expect to fail – they like the status quo and keep a low profile.

Those with high Risk Orientation tend to thrive on competition and are motivated by competitive people. They embrace challenges even when success is uncertain and expect to succeed. They readily volunteer for new activities and kind of enjoy feeling “frightened”

Challenge for the sake of challenge is one thing, but in Mental Toughness terms it’s about learning from the challenge, this is where Learning Orientation comes in – the second of the Challenge foundations.

This is about seeing both successes and failures as chances to learn; instead of beating yourself up over a mistake and taking a “win” for granted. It’s about taking time to figure out what happened and learn from it, learn from it so you can do better next time.

Identifying what went wrong and avoid repeating it and identifying what went well and building on it.

Those with low Learning Orientation tend to see failure as a “failure” and feedback as a list of their faults. They often hide or ignore mistakes and quickly move on to the next thing. They are limited in “how” they learn and often forget what they have learned

Those with high Learning Orientation tend to see failures as opportunities for learning and feedback as an opportunity to improve. They enjoy learning new things and deliberately stretch themselves. They Create time to reflect, have a variety of learning approaches and keep a learning log – learning is important for them.

Again, it is the contribution of both foundations to the challenge pillar.

Those low in both Risk Orientation and Learning Orientation like keeping things the way they are and don’t really think about what they can learn from what’s happening.

Those low in Risk Orientation but high in Learning Orientation won’t take many risks but they do take time to learn from what happens to them.

Those high in Risk Orientation but low in Learning Orientation are so busy chasing the next opportunity, that they don’t have time to learn from the outcomes.

Those high in both Risk Orientation and Learning Orientation enjoy taking risks and systematically learn from the outcomes – be they good or bad.

So, the challenge pillar is all about having a go and learning through doing.

If you are curious to know more about Mental Toughness you can take a look at more articles here www.boblarcher.com/category/mental-toughness/.

And, if you would like to measure and start developing your mental toughness, do not hesitate to contact me at boblarcher@boblarcher.com

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

boblarcher.com

The post Understanding the foundations of Mental Toughness – Challenge appeared first on BobLarcher.

Each of these pillars is built on two foundations and it is the foundations that affect how you do at work, your relationships, how you handle setbacks, even how you reach your goals.

In this article I will focus on the Confidence pillar.

The two pillars of confidence are Interpersonal Confidence and Confidence in Abilities

Interpersonal confidence is about feeling comfortable around other people, especially in tough situations. It’s about being able to walk into a room full of strangers and being able to strike up a conversation or speaking up in a meeting, even if you’re the most junior person there and being able to handle conflict.

Those with low Interpersonal Confidence tend to allow others to dominate what is happening and back down quickly when challenged, they find meetings and presentations a major challenge and avoid dealing with people.

Those with high Interpersonal Confidence tend to stand their ground when challenged and not allow others to dominate them, they take criticism and challenge in their stride, they are good at dealing with difficult people, and they easily handle presentations and interviews.

Confidence in Abilities is about trusting your skills and knowledge, knowing you have what it takes to succeed, recognising your strengths and feeling good about what you know.

Those with low Confidence in Abilities tend to avoid the spotlight, play safe and not take risks and avoid doing the things they are unsure about.

They wait for, very safe, opportunities to practice and feel embarrassed when they don’t know.

Those with high Confidence in Abilities tend to enjoy demonstrating their abilities and will have a go at most things.

They actively seek opportunities to practice, doing the things they are unsure about, they acknowledge that they don’t and can’t know everything and do not worry about what others think.

Again, it is the contribution of both foundations to the confidence pillar.

Those with both low Interpersonal Confidence and Confidence in Abilities tend to keep a low profile and don’t show others what they can do.

Those with high Interpersonal Confidence and low Confidence in Abilities do not consider themselves to be an expert at anything but they don’t let people walk over them.

Those with low Interpersonal Confidence and high Confidence in Abilities are not good at facing up to others but they do know when they are right.

And those with both high Interpersonal Confidence and high Confidence in Abilities will stand their ground when criticised and will almost always find arguments to support their point of view.

So, the confidence pillar is all about being confident in who you are and having confidence in what you can do.

If you are curious to know more about Mental Toughness you can take a look at more articles here www.boblarcher.com/category/mental-toughness/.

And, if you would like to measure and start developing your mental toughness, do not hesitate to contact me at boblarcher@boblarcher.com

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

boblarcher.com

The post Understanding the foundations of mental toughness – Confidence appeared first on BobLarcher.

Each of these pillars is built on two foundations and it is the foundations that affect how you do at work, your relationships, how you handle setbacks, even how you reach your goals.

In this article I will focus on the Control pillar

The two foundations of the Control pillar are Life control and Emotional control.

Firstly, Life control, this is about having a sense of knowing where you’re going in life and why. What some people call finding your “True North” or your “Big Why”

It’s about feeling like you can make your own choices, even when there’s pressure.

It’s not letting other people’s expectations or societal norms dictate your life. It’s about being in charge of your own life.

If you’ve got high Life Control, you’re probably the kind of person who’s not afraid to take a different path to others, to follow your own kind of internal compass.

It’s not about being egocentric and ignoring or walking over others, it is however about being guided by your values and your beliefs                .

Those with very low Life Control tend to dwell on failure and see the negative consequences of their actions, they expect to fail and create vicious circles for themselves, and they do things simply because they are asked to while avoiding responsibility

On the other hand, those with very high Life Control tend to build on the positive results of their actions and create virtuous circles for themselves, they look for responsibility and feel that they can make a difference.

Emotional control, the second foundation, is about managing one’s own emotions and the emotions of others.

Let’s be clear, we cannot control our emotions, they just happen to us, we do not “decide” to be happy, angry, sad, disgusted, etc.

However, we can control how we manifest our emotions, our emotional behaviour.

It’s not about suppressing your emotions or pretending you don’t have them. It’s about being aware of your emotions and learning how you express them.

We all have those moments where we get triggered, someone cuts you off in traffic, you get bad news, someone attacks your work.

Emotional control is about being able to pause, acknowledge how you feel. And then choose how you want to respond, instead of yelling at the person who cut you off.

It’s not about ignoring your feelings. It’s about choosing to deal with them in a way that works for you.

Which is useful, especially in high pressure situations, if you can stay calm and focused when you’re making a big decision, it can make a huge difference.

Those with low Emotional Control show anger or annoyance when things don’t go their way, they show discomfort when others “have a go at them” and they deal poorly with provocation.

They tend to be unaware of their own emotional build-up and miss the signs of emotional build-up in others. They can easily lose control, behave erratically and say things they regret.

Those with high Emotional Control on the other hand tend to be insensitive to others’ remarks and ignore provocation, they spot the signs of emotional build-up in others, stay calm and choose their words and they remain consistent in their behaviour

Clearly both foundations are important

Those with both low Life and Emotional control tend to let others decide for them and it’s often an emotional drama.

Those with high Life control and low Emotional control make their own life decisions; however, when it goes bottom up everyone knows about it.

Those with low Life control and high Emotional control tend to follow the flow and not show their emotions when things go wrong.

And those with both high Life and Emotional control decide & assume their decisions and very rarely allow their emotions to show.

So, the control pillar is all about being clear where you are going in life and choosing your emotional responses.

If you are curious to know more about Mental Toughness you can take a look at more articles here www.boblarcher.com/category/mental-toughness/.

And, if you would like to measure and start developing your Mental Toughness, do not hesitate to contact me at boblarcher@boblarcher.com.

Bob

I help people to develop their interpersonal skills, usually within a leadership or teamwork context. If you are looking to develop your leadership, I might be able to help. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years; roughly four thousand days of seminars, workshops, conferences, coaching, offsites, webinars, etc. – put back-to-back that makes almost ten “full” years.

boblarcher.com

The post Understanding the foundations of Mental Toughness – Control appeared first on BobLarcher.